“Between the stimuli and the reaction there is a space: in this space lays our freedom and power of choose of our responces”. Wictor. E. Frankl
Everyone has a choice. Often, however, we do not know it. Or, even if we do, we rarely really choose fully consciously. We do something because we think it is the best reaction or because we think we have to. Personally, I am fascinated by transpormational coaching, based on the Choice Theory by W. Glasser. I also use in my approach neuroscience, expanding self-awareness and mindfulness. We can only trully choose when we see what our different options actually are.
I use choice coaching in both business and life coaching. It is especially groundbreaking when we are firmly convinced that “something cannot be done” or that we are unable to do it. I show that we always have a choice how we want to see ourselves and a specific situation, and the relationships between them. This restores a sense of power and agency. It can cause powerful changes. For long.
In choice coaching, I support you to:
- understand what you really want and the important needs behind it
- look for new ways of seeing a situation or meeting your key unsatisfied needs in a different way
- find new opportunities to act and think, and if that doesn’t work – identify internal saboteurs and create new allies
- plan activities and anchor them in new routines in order to develop a new habits
Each of us has a choice. And everyone chooses. Even if it seems that circumstances are pushing us to act. Therefore, everyone constantly somehow “behaves”, thinks something and feels somehow in a given situation. This is followed by physiological reactions in our body and the formation and strengthening of specific neuropaths.
If we repeat a certain behavior hundreds of times, the neural pathways take the form of automatisms. It is the same with thoughts, emotions and feelings. We are most often not even aware of the fact that we operate in 95% on automatisms. I call the mental programs – perceptual filters.
Our beliefs, the way of interpreting and understanding the world are shaped throughout our lives. The beliefs about ourselves are most strongly formed in our early years. It is often the case that as people with many successes, we create new beliefs about ourselves based on new experiences. However, if we encounter a moment in life where we totally “get stuck” at some point – whether professionally or privately – it often happens because of deep believes that we do not even have access to anymore and therefore we do not know how to move forward. These deep believes are strong because they get recorded and strenhtened our entire lives. And they are the reasons why we fail to “jump over” some challenges.
Sometimes the simple realization of traps of our thoughts or of what needs to be done, helps in itself to solve the problem. We learn a new action and we move forward.
While working with me, you will find that a lot is going on in your mind when it comes to making conscious choices. You will learn how to perceive and respond to a given situation by seeing more broadly, more fully and calmly when you encounter your challenge. You will regain your power and command of your own life. It restores a sense of meaning and strength. It allows you to choose more effective behaviors and solve problems that may have seemed extremely difficult to overcome.
According to the theory of choice, each person constantly behaves and does in life what they can do best at the moment and what brings them to the fulfillment of their needs. Even if it is a need to vent one’s own frustration (a quarrel, a fight) or escape from a difficult situation (withdrawal, low assertiveness). Each behavior meets some needs. However, not all behaviors are effective (an argument will alleviate 5 minutes, but it destroys relationships) and effective in the long run. Sometimes they cause us serious losses and leave us with unsolved problems. However, you can choose other behaviors and even thoughts, or the way you want to feel. The more we are aware, the better and more powerful choices we make.